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auchie
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Name: auchie
Gender: Male
Interests: living, dreaming, reading, writing, 'rithmetic
Expertise: teaching kids "blue steel," being a sidekick, looking cool, stunt journalism
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
9/30/2002
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| black chickens
so i went crab hunting with my girlf, her brother, and her parents today. we had this huge net that we were using to catch the crabs and lured them with some raw chicken and a black chicken head. who knew that crabs liked chicken? especially since chickens don't live underwater. well, they do like chicken. you heard it here first.
so we cast the net and after about ten minutes, hauled it up to see if any crabs got caught. lo and behold, there was one! we pulled it up and ended up drawing a decent-sized crowd among other fishermen at the pier. this african american family came over and their kids were ogling our crabbie. and then they see the black chicken head and they're like, "what's the bait?" and we're like, "chicken." and they stare at the black chicken head some more and say, "what's that?" and my girlf's mom says "black chicken." and you had to be there to see the look on this family's face. i thought they were really angry. they were like, "i'm sorry, i don't think i heard you right. what did you say?" and she's says again, "black chicken head." i totally thought about making a run for it cause i thought they were gonna lay the smackdown. i've never heard of black chicken before but that chicken head was totally black - i mean, what else could it be called? african american chicken?
i was talking to my girlf about it later and she said she thought they were angry at first too, but then it seemed like they thought it was totally cool that there were black chickens like there are black people. cool.
oh, and we lost the net (the rope slipped off on my watch) and lost the crab (some old chinese lady with snot running down her nose came over to tell us that open crab season runs from november to june and that we'd get fined if we got caught with the crab), and then spent some time trying to reclaim the net from the bottom of the ocean using a fishing rod and a hook, and then also spent some time watching our crab float away into the ocean because it was dead and we should've kept it.
all in a day's adventures.
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| yeah, i know it's only 2006. but i've decided that i must return to my ten-year high school reunion in three years. i stumbled upon my old high school yearbook this evening, and armed with google's patented people-stalking technology, i proceeded to google old classmates to see what they were up to.
i was put to shame. i thought i had a cool job hanging out with asian american actors and directors, but take a look at what some of my classmates have been doing:
spandan has fulfilled his dream of working for ESPN and has won an EMMY for associate producing sportscenter. i can only watch sportscenter.
travis has his own NASCAR racing team. i can only watch talladega nights.
in honor of travis, i am currently listening to travis - why does it always rain on me?
don't google your classmates. it will only make you feel bad. no, but seriously, i can't wait to see these guys again.
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| i always knew hollywood recycled old movie plots, but i didn't know to what extent until i found myself watching the exact same movie on dvd that i had just seen in theatres in may.
the films in question are national treasure (2004) and the da vinci code (2006) [and yes i know the da vinci code book was released in 2003].
the plot of national treasure: nicolas cage must decode a message hidden inside the declaration of independence that will unlock a treasure that has been buried by a secret society of founding nation fathers.
the plot of the da vinci code: tom hanks must decode a message hidden inside the last supper painting that will unlock a secret that has been buried by a secret society of founding church fathers.
here are some tips to help you write the next hollywood blockbuster.
how to summarize your plot: [HERO] must decode a message hidden inside [HISTORICAL DOCUMENT that will unlock [SOMETHING AUSOME] that has been buried by a secret society of founding [GROUP] fathers.
must have the following:
- the secret/treasure must be last traced to the knights templar
- the hero must escape to an estranged, adversarial father-figure's residence
- the chief of police must belong to the secret society
- the hero must fall for a beautiful woman who is an expert in the same field
concluding thoughts: the da vinci code was entertaining when i saw it, but dude, national treasure blows you away. da vinci gets too wrapped up in talking about the conspiracy. national treasure barely talks - it's all action. ten bucks says that national treasure 2 uses the same plot structure.
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| i had lunch today with a real small-time celebrity and it was at that moment that i realized i am no celebrity. remember when i re-launched my xanga to devote it to stories about celebrity encounters? looking back at my celebrity encounters, it seems that i only really meet asian american celebs: pk, james wan, sung kang (i was his driver during his recent trip to sf), collin chou and today, i met perhaps my favourite celebrity of all time: tyson of beauty and the geek 2 fame, which, as you know, is my favourite show of all time. cool.
it was apparent that he was really smart, and he was really chill, so it made for a good time. my roommate, also a big fan, asked to tag along, which was cool until tyson asked him how we know each other, to which my roommate replies, "we live together." i had to spend the rest of the lunch finding excuses to talk about my girlfriend so that tyson wouldn't think that we were gay.
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| you better recognize
so i went to this event tonight for alumni of fancy schools. i went cause it was advertised as a "bowling happy hour" but they pulled the old switcheroo on me. almost everyone was there to drink and not bowl. guys, next time let's just meet at a bar.
anyway, i got recognized by a festival fan at the bowling alley (i am a small-time local celebrity now). this girl was like, "hey, i recognize you! don't you talk before the films at the film festival?" and i played it all cool and i was like, "yeah." and then i signed an autograph for her even though she didn't ask for one.
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